Is It Wise for Me to Insist on a Prenup Despite My Boyfriend's Wealth and Home Ownership?

Dear Quentin,

What steps can one take to safeguard themselves within a marriage? Although I am currently unmarried and have no immediate plans for matrimony, I may reconsider this decision regarding my partner around five or six years from now. He has expressed his desire for us to wed at some point, as it holds significant importance to him.

He owns a new home with an estimated mortgage of $650,000. I can't manage that cost by myself, and honestly, I wouldn't choose to either. The thought of becoming homeless if our marriage ends troubles me greatly. Therefore, I am considering a prenup stipulating that each of us retains our own debts. Are there additional elements you think should be included in this agreement?

I want to keep my individual bank account. He will also have his separate account. We've talked about opening a shared account for expenses we both share, like the mortgage and utility bills. My assets aren’t worth much. I assume he has considerable savings. He earns significantly more than I do.

There won’t be any children between us. He doesn’t have kids, and I have two children from an earlier relationship who are still minors but will reach adulthood before our planned marriage, assuming everything proceeds as we hope.

Grandfather’s land

I recently discovered that our family has owned some property for 150 years. To safeguard this land during their divorce, my grandfather decided to surrender both of his pension benefits to satisfy his former wife. It’s crucial because my family has always strived to retain ownership of this piece of land.

Recently, my uncle, who currently owns the property, contacted me and shared with me all this background information. He mentioned that he has four kids from past relationships whom he might leave the land to, though some of those offspring may decide to put it up for sale.

On the other branch of my family tree, I stand alone as the sole grandchild. There’s also land involved which might one day become mine. Though unlikely, it remains a possibility. The present holder would probably opt to sell the property to builders at an attractive price point. Should this not happen, then I shall remain the lone inheritor.

My partner isn't aware of this property and has no financial interest in it. I see no reason to inform them regarding its background or importance. Additionally, I find myself contemplating potential minor accidents involving my children even before they start driving; such foresight is prudent.

Contemplating the Future

Related: 'A dispute broke out': My mother handed over my inheritance to her second spouse, but things turned disastrous.

Dear Contemplating,

In theory, he should be the one benefiting from a prenuptial agreement.

He owns a home and over time, he'll surely pay down most of his mortgage. Additionally, as someone with a high income, he likely has a 401(k) or something similar from his job which should offer him retirement funds once he reaches age 59½.

In the event of a divorce, each party would retain what they initially contributed to the marriage, assuming there was no mixing of assets. Both the Federal Trade Commission and the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau state that an individual is not responsible for their late partner’s credit card debts.

When personal loans are obtained during a marriage, they become more complex issues, specifically within the nine community-property states: Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington, and Wisconsin. Thus, your worries aren’t entirely without merit.

Approximately 65% of partners indicate they discuss their finances Before tying the knot or becoming domestic partners. That might also account for why almost half of couples argue over finances. But your partner has given you no reason to assume he will get himself into a lot of debt.

Writing a prenup

If you decide to create a prenuptial agreement, several elements should be included such as provisions for property distribution, income arrangements, debt management (as mentioned earlier), alimony, and spousal support, along with other factors. Willick Law Group , confidentiality clauses.

"A confidentiality clause guarantees that both spouses maintain the secrecy regarding the details of their prenup, and outlines consequences for breaching this clause," explains the law firm based in Las Vegas.

The team emphasizes that disclosing all financial details to your lawyer is crucial for successfully drafting your agreement. This data will also be conveyed to your prospective spouse and used to create schedules appended to the pact.

Willick similarly specifies what should be excluded: provisions related to adultery, unlawful or unjust actions (as these are clearly prohibited), and, for couples with children together, matters concerning child custody ("should a divorce occur, courts will rule in accordance with the welfare of the child, irrespective of stipulations within the prenup").

Counting chickens

You possess assets you view as strong cards: potential inheritances you might receive in the future. Here’s my take on this situation. Firstly, inheritances are classified as separate property; thus, whether you obtain such wealth before or during your marriage makes minimal difference.

Secondly, you have not shared information about this property with your partner because you feel it's wise to keep those details confidential. Based on what you've mentioned, this inheritance, although intriguing to consider, appears to be far from realization.

It's crucial for both of you to have clear and open communication regarding your respective debts. From what you understand, your partner has been honest about his financial situation. This openness is justified since all the information shared so far paints a favorable picture: He possesses a property but carries a substantial mortgage, and he earns a significant income.

Looking objectively at your situation, it would make more sense for your partner to push for a prenup based on his assets and earnings, if or when you do marry, because any equity built up in his home during your marriage could also be considered community or marital property.

Related: “She has supported him”: At 78, I plan to leave my inheritance of life savings to my daughter who is 41, yet her partner is quite lazy. What steps should I take to safeguard her interests?

You can send your financial and ethical queries via email to The Moneyist at qfottrell@Cryptonesia, and follow Quentin Fottrell on X, which was previously called Twitter. Twitter.

The Moneyist regretfully states that he is unable to respond to individual inquiries.

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